Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Legendary Lungi :)‏ (Onam Special)

Too Good!

One of the best essay I read in recent time :) simbly superr!!!

Three salutes to writer!!!

Happy Onam!

Just as the national bird of Kerala is Mosquito, her national dress is 'Lungi'. Pronounced as 'Lu' as in loo and 'ngi ' as in 'mongey', a lungi can be identified by its floral or window-curtain pattern. 'Mundu' is the white variation of lungi and is worn on special occasions like hartal or bandh days, weddings and Onam.

Lungi is simple and 'down to earth' like the mallu wearing it. Lungi is the beginning and the end of evolution in its category. Wearing something on the top half of your body is optional when you are wearing a lungi. Lungi is a strategic dress. It's like a one-size-fits- all bottoms for Keralites. The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on from generation to generation through word of mouth like the British Constitution. If you think it is an easy task wearing it, just try it once! It requires techniques like breath control and yoga that is a notch higher than sudarshan kriya of AOL. A lungi/mundu when perfectly worn won't come off even in a quake of 8 on the richter scale. A lungi is not attached to the waist using duct tape, staple, rope or velcro. It's a bit of mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret like the Coca Cola chemicals.

A lungi can be worn 'Full Mast' or 'Half Mast' like a national flag. A 'Full Mast' lungi is when you are showing respect to an elderly or the dead. Wearing it at full mast has lots of disadvantages. A major disadvantage is when a dog runs after you.A mallu can play cricket, football or simbly run when the lungi is worn at half mast. A mallu can even climb a coconut tree wearing lungi in half mast. "It's not good manners, especially for ladies from decent families, to look up at a mallu climbing a coconut tree"- Confucius J

Most mallus do the traditional dance kudiyattam. Kudi means drinking alcohol and yattam, spelled as aattam, means random movement of the male body. Note that 'y' is silent. When you are drinking, you drink, there is no 'y'. Any alcohol related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when you are topless with lungi and a towel tied around the head. "Half mast lungi makes it easy to dance and shake legs" says Candelaria Amaranto, a Salsa teacher from Spain after watching 'kudiyaattam' . The 'Lungi Wearing Mallu Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE MU], an NGO which works towards the 'upliftment' of the lungi, strongly disapprove of the GenNext tendency of wearing Bermudas under the lungi. Bermudas under the lungi is a conspiracy by the CIA. It's a disgrace to see a person wearing bermuda with corporate logos under his lungi.

A mallu wears lungi round the year, all weather, all season. A mallu celebrates winter by wearing a colourful lungi with a floral pattern. A lungi/mundu can be worn any time of the day/night. It doubles as blanket at night. It also doubles up as a swing, swimwear, sleepingbag, parachute, facemask while entering/exiting toddy shops, shopping basket and water filter while fishing in ponds and rivers. It also has recreational uses like in 'Lungi/mundu pulling', a pastime in households having more than one male member. Lungi pulling competitions are held outside toddyshops all over Kerala during Onam and Vishu.

When these lungis are decommissioned from service, they become table cloths.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Retold, Recycled and new Raju Jokes

Raju Ban gaya Gentleman!
Raju was selected as style icon of the year! Big party was thrown by his friends to celebrate. Dress code was black tie. Raju to drive home a point, wore a sleek Italian designer black tie for the occasion. When he arrived at party to his amazement others were wearing pants and shirts too!

Soft an Hard of it
Accidentally Raju bumps into hot, young lady in hotel. After collision he poetically apologies saying "you would forgive if your heart is as soft as your bosom!" To which she coolly replied " If your tool is as hard as your elbow I am at room number 209!"

Raju as a IT Project Manger!
Raju Raju!
Yes Baba
How is project?
Its Green Baba!
Telling lies ?
God promise no Baba!
Open your PSR!
Ha Ha Haa!
*PSR = Project Status Report

Romantic Raju!
Raju grew to be 70 year old but his romantic heart was never older than 18years. Thanks to Viagra he enjoyed good life.
Recently heard when he died of overdose of Viagra , they had difficulty in closing the coffin box!