What is better than money? (Rajan Acharya’s story)

What is better than money? For me it was not a question, it was an answer and whole philosophy of life. Money played important role in shaping my thinking and personality. That does not mean, I am mean and stingy, but I learnt value of money at quite early age of my life.

I was born and brought-up in typical Indian middle class family in Bangalore. We are four children to our parents. I was third son of Mrs. Vedavathi Acharya and Mr. Ranganath Archarya. I have two elder brothers and one younger sister. To my parents luck, we were all bright in studies and that presented a new problem when we started going to college later. My father was a school teacher and my mother, a house wife or home maker.

People say, children are innocent and they live in their fancy imaginary world and don’t realize the problems of the adults. But at early age I experienced and understood my family’s financial constraints. There was just enough money to pay school fee and no money to buy toys, story books, new clothes or my big attraction, bicycle.

In school, everyday we had to wear school uniform, blue shorts and white shirt, except on Wednesday. Wednesday we were allowed to come in clothes of our choice or as we kids use to say ‘color dress’. I used to look forward for Wednesday with lot of embarrassment, as there would be a clear distinction of social class we belong to. Although not many rich children were there in our school, but their dominance was such that we could see them all over the place. Their high class in society was acknowledged one way or the other by teachers, school peons or head master himself.

As a kid, I used to wonder why some people live so comfortably and we live with so much financial restriction. Why government is not paying big salary to school teachers?

One day after dinner when my father was in good mood, I asked him “Father, why don’t you do some business and earn more money like others?” He was puzzled by my question and then laughed and said “I don’t have big money to invest in business and your grandfather left me with lot of loans as inheritance but not a property!” I did not give up, I knew we could take loans and do a business and said the same to him, to which he said no one including government gives loan for a school teacher like him. Then he tried to make issue light by making comic statements. I started wondering that “Oh God! Then there is no way to get out of this rut?”

My question was answered soon. One fine day, Viswanath who was my maternal uncle’s eldest son, visited us. He had just completed engineering and had got a job as lecturer in the same college where he studied. He was a star or rather a superstar among our relatives. He was bright in studies and good looking and he seemed to know everything in the world. Everybody used to adore him and longed for his company. Every mother and father among our relatives used to quote him as a shining example for everything. Not to mention about his gold medal in engineering.

Viswanath had got a wonderful offer from Bombay engineering college for a Research Assistance Engineer post, from well know Professor Dr. Bhave. Dr. Bhave was well known scientist and even prime minister of India used to take his opinion on every science and technology matter. Then Viswanath promptly resigned to his lecturer job in Bangalore University and was getting ready for his new job in Bombay. Before moving to Bombay he wanted to visit all the close relatives. So he was visiting us on that Sunday.

That day my mother prepared special food and mainly sweet ‘Obbattu‘, which was Viswanath’s favorite.

Viswanath came to our home on Sunday afternoon. My father greeted him and asked him about his parents and new job in Bombay and all that. As a kid I was mesmerized by seeing Viswanath. My brothers and sister went out to play after few minutes. But I stayed on and sacrificed my Sunday evening play time to spend time with him. I snatched water jug and glass from my mother and served Viswanath before offering coffee. When my father and Viswanath were having coffee I stood in front of them smiling ear-to-ear for no apparent reason.

Everything and every moment about Viswanath seemed to be so graceful. I just stayed in hall and was listening to the conversation between my father and Viswanath. After sometime he said he wanted to go out and meet his friend. When he was back, he bought big Dairy Milk chocolates for all us children. Needless to say, my parents would never buy us anything more than éclairs. And then we had festival dinner with everybody competing to eat “obbattu”. Before leaving, Viswanath had some kind words for us to study well and earn good marks to become successful. I listened to him with my eyes wide open and decided to become like Viswanath.

After Viswanath left for Bombay, it took three months of hard work to get 2nd rank in quarterly test and six months to get 1st rank. Once I had hold on 1st Rank, I never turned back. I wrote a letter to Viswanath to inform my achievement, he wrote back praising me for the success and encouraging me to continue my effort in studies.

I went to join the same engineering college in which Viswanath studied. When I completed my engineering I was happy to see my name on topper board along with Viswanath. In fact I had got 12% more than he had got. I wrote to him teasingly about that. He replied saying marks are like money, due to inflation I have had more marks than him but of less value!!!

By the time I joined engineering my elder brothers had finished their degrees and diplomas and had started working. This had considerably improved our financial situation. Coming first rank in the school and colleges had its own benefits: one scholarship, concession in school/college fee and respect from fellow mates and teachers. If I have to be honest I enjoyed scholarships more than anything else. Like Viswanath I too became popular among friends and relatives.

After engineering I had job offer from private companies and engineering colleges, including the one I studied. Then I consulted Viswanath, who had married and settled down in Bombay by that time. He advised to go for higher studies. Although I wanted to do that, I was more eager to achieve economical independence. Against Viswanath’s advice I decided to take-up a job as a lecturer in a famous engineering college in Ooty. College management had promised me to send for higher studies with salary after completion of two years of service, which eventually they did.

When I was 28 years old my parents starting looking for a bride. I wanted to delay marriage as I wanted to make as much money as possible before getting married. I wanted to provide sufficiency of everything to my family. But, once when I was in Bangalore for holidays, my parents asked me to accompany them to a relative’s house. When we reached their house, there was something odd in the environment, I only realized later, on what was happening. That is when Ranjana came with coffee and snacks and kept it on the table. Ranjana was very beautiful, and my heart started beating wildly.

I realized that my parents had schemed, for me to meet Ranjana. My mind was confused, and my heart beating wildly even after we reached home. My mother came to my room, when I was reading magazine and slowly started talking to nobody in particular. She started talking about how beautiful the girl is, how good the family was, how good natured she was even after she doing engineering, not even a touch of ego etc. etc. After talking for about 10 minutes, my mother went away to do her chores. I was a mixture of anger and confusion, but didn’t tell anything to my mother.

Next day morning, my father called me and told me about the family and Ranjana formally. He told me “Things have to happen at a right time, money etc. will come later, and you cannot stop your life for that”. After all this lecture and formality, he asked me if I am ok to marry Ranjana. He waited for 3-4 minutes, before walking off. I was still confused. Just after my afternoon nap, mother came to my room with coffee. She asked me the question of marrying again. I agreed.

After marriage I took Ranjana to Ooty. She was a very mild and good natured person. Although, her cooking some times was awful, I had missed the home food from last 8 years, it didn’t bother me much. Before marriage, I was worried about my wife cribbing, crying and her asking for the sky every now and then. Ranjana was a gem; she adjusted to me very well and my lifestyle. She never asked for anything special and always adjusted with the things available at home. I was well respected in college and was easy for me to get a job for Ranjana in the college. She took up the opportunity without much fuss and questions. She was very good.

One day she announced that she is carrying. I was shocked, and answered “Ranjana! We didn’t need this now”. The whole night and next day I was thinking, my plan had toppled again. I wanted to have a certain bank balance, and the plan was to wait 2 years before having children. Next day when Ranjana, didn’t come to office I realized what had happened yesterday, and she must have felt very bad with my response. Who will not? I had given such a cold and bad response, even worst; I blamed her as if it was her problem. I didn’t know how to comfort her; I called my parents and told the good news. Luckily, my mother instantly told she would be coming the next day to visit us. After going home, when I told her about my parents visiting and helped Ranjana in her work, I could see she was returning to normalcy. My mother stayed on and helped us with the whole process of having the kid; I forgot my toppled plans and became ecstatic when I saw “Ranjini” for the first time in the cradle. I need to say, my mother was pain for me, pointing mistakes in me every now and then. I didn’t understand what was going through her mind; she had never been like this before.

I didn’t care much as I thought, “women and their sentiments, who can understand?”

One fine day I got a call from the Principal of the college. I was selected for an educational program to be done in an American university. The program was sponsored by Government of India and would be for one year. My college had proposed my name and I was selected based on my knowledge and credentials. I was proud to be selected for such a program and was ecstatic about the thing. The excitement was to go to USA and also to earn in dollars. Lot of my colleagues got jealous as my status inside the college increased and I obviously felt proud for that.

Once I was home, I broke the news to Ranjana with happiness. She looked perplexed but didn’t say no or argue or even question about it. I understood her worry and slowly explained her need for me to go to USA. I explained her from the money factor, how it will help Ranjini’s education, how it would increase my status in the community. The way I will get bigger/better salaries and how our lifestyle can change because of it. After all it was just for a year and all our dreams would be fulfilled after that. She didn’t show much happiness towards this, but didn’t negate me in any way. I was very happy.

Before leaving for USA, I made all arrangement so that Ranjana would be able to run the house with out any issue. I was very happy with the way she showed interest in learning things. I needed support from her during those days, and she provided that without complaints.

Life in USA was methodical and easy; according to my tastes I should say. It was difficult for me to adjust to food in the initial days; there were other Indians in the university and helped me in finding places to get Indian groceries. I quickly got impressed with the education system in the university and the facilities available to students and teachers. Education program was to understand the research methodologies in the American universities and I was also involved in a research project in metallurgy area to understand on-the-job scenarios of research.

The research group involved people from various countries, some students, some professors, some lecturers, etc a team of 35 people. I was supposed to be the temporary member of the team, as the research was panned for 3 years and I would be involved only for 6-8 months. Metallurgy was one of my interest areas and I took to the problem at hand with full energy and vigor. Back in India, I wouldn’t get the facilities to test my ideas in my college. I had made up my mind to make use of the facilities provided by the university. I started putting 15-16 hours a day of effort. I used to get frustrated, when I had to attend other courses, seminars, visit facilities, as part of main objective of being there in America.

I was in my dream land, and things like food, recreation never mattered to me even before coming to USA. Funnily I noticed my worry of making money slowly went into background. The research lead James was professor and had PHD in various areas. He was well known in the area of metallurgy and I remember one of the authors of my engineering text book was this guy. It was pleasure working with him, though he wouldn’t spend much time with me as I was doing not-so-important work. I used to call and talk to Ranjana and Ranjini once a week. In just a month are so after reaching USA, I used to get an urge to talk to them, but once I start talking to them, I realized their life and stories didn’t interest me much. At that point of time this didn’t worry me much, as I realized that there was something else which was dearer to me and I could survive my whole life learning and studying the nuances of science.

6 months into the program, I had made major breakthrough in my area of work. James was very impressed with my work. James got more impressed, when I proved some of the assumptions under which the research team was working were wrong. I was surprised by the positive response, when James accepted and appreciated me for my work in front of everybody. Back in my college my HOD had chastised me for arguing with him, though I was correct on a subject. There was no scope for ego or jealousy with James, an I felt happy for his appreciations. This breakthrough completely changed the track and plan of the research program. Happiest day in my life was when James asked me to stay on in the program till its completion. There were obvious problems of VISA, my government sponsorship, my college etc. James was heavily respected guy, and the research program was sponsored by one of the Fortune 100 companies. Once I provided my acceptance, which I did in no time, James could pull all strings and get the operational things covered for me. I was in dream land and started putting more energy into the research.

I never cared for money after this time, I never spent money as most of time was going into research, and most of my earnings directly into savings. There were no weekends for me and my social life was next to nothing. I had some good friends in the university and I used to visit them for lunch or dinner once in a while. James was a workaholic himself and with all the renewed energy we came to a very definitive answer to the problem we were researching on. Everybody in the core and the external team was thrilled that day. James took us all to a Pub that day. Though people had forced me to drink during my initial days in project, they had left me to be myself seeing my non-drinking resolve. This day, James was heavily drunk and was literally shouting appreciations about me. Somebody came up with the idea of forcing me to drink, James in no-time pushed a bottle of beer into my mouth and I couldn’t say no. James dropped me to my apartment at 10, my head was spinning a bit and I was struggling for air. It was a beautiful night with Moon clearly visible in the sky. I sat outside thinking about my whole life. About my child hood dreams, Viswanath, finishing engineering, craving for money, coming to USA, and I had not realized it was nearly 5 years and felt a satisfaction for my life. The acceptance and the respect I got from Americans, especially James was overwhelming.

The next 2 weeks, we had to do minor tests and the junior members of the team was writing the report. Most of my time went in guiding the members and finishing up with the job. Yeah, it was the day report was out, I remember. James came to me and took me for a coffee, he told me about another opportunity of research and asked me if I can join him for that. He will take care of all the other things and I could even bring my family also to USA. I told an instantaneous “Yes” to him. I called Ranjana the same day, sharing all the happy news with her. If I need to guess, I had talked more with her today than any other day, Not even when I had visited India 2 times for a holiday. I got an urge to talk to Ranjini, Ranjana called Ranjini but she didn’t talk to me. I felt irritated.

Next 2 weeks were free and I didn’t have much work to do. I visited friends and had dinner with them. Only question running in my head was “Why did Ranjini not talk to me?” I slowly started realizing that Ranjini wouldn’t talk to me most of the times I called. I started wondering if I was going away from my daughter? Those days were the worst, when I used to sit and think for long hours without able to understand the reason of what was affecting me. I lost all enthusiasm for life, and didn’t talk to James with enthusiasm when he came to discuss about the new project. I had booked my tickets to go to India and I thought about finding the answer when I will be there in India. This didn’t satisfy me, and I was slowly drilling myself to find an answer to my un-easiness. Some of my friends asked if there is any problem and they couldn’t comprehend why a successful man at the height of his success is not happy anymore. Forget them; even I couldn’t comprehend why I was not happy.

One of these days, I started thinking about my whole life again. That is when I realized, I was seeing the world only from my perspective. I never considered what Ranjana, Ranjini, my parents thought or felt regarding things. With this new realization, I started wondering where I had gone wrong. In my dream towards becoming financially strong I had not considered and given importance to any of my parents, Ranjana’s, Ranjini’s feelings toward me. When I was happy and Ranjini didn’t talk to me, I am unhappy. But the same me, used to cut the discussion in short when Ranjini used to tell about some thing in her school. I never listened or put effort in understanding anybody. Only thing I wanted was my happiness and I expected people around me to be happy because of that. How does a 10 year old kid, understand and care for my scientific achievement? It doesn’t matter. I felt a sort of peace of mind because of the newer perspective I was thinking.

Next few days were pathetic, as I was sitting in home on evenings. I couldn’t do anything and I could only think of the negatives that I had done to my family. The lack of belonging I had with my family was just killing me. In the evenings as I was sitting in my house, I felt alone. The loneliness slowly started irritating me in college also. One day, James approached me and asked me if there was a problem? I don’t know why, James and me never talked about personal lives before. But that day, when he asked I just broke down narrating my whole life story to him. He was surprised by the out-burst. He couldn’t tell anything and he was startled I guess. I was in a way very relieved and ghosts in my head were sleeping. Not sure why though.

That day when I was about to leave home, James came along with me to my apartment. He told me “the day I talked about this new project, I told, I would make arrangement so that your family can come stay with you. Did you notice that? I have wondered some times, how you are so attached to your work, without a family, and I didn’t enquire about it as I thought it would be indecent for me to ask”. I said, “I didn’t notice that, but as I spoke and opened to you today I realized very clearly, I had been unjust to my whole family. It is not just my wife and daughter. It is my parents, my brothers and my little sister. Whom I have loved so much and but never cared for them in any way. I haven’t even talked to by brothers and sisters in last 2.5 years after I came back from my last holiday. The way I have been raised is with family values and with love for everybody in the family and extended family. But in my efforts to make money first, knowledge and fame later on I completely dis-regarded everyone’s feelings. I didn’t even care to say a hello to the folks who love me so much. I never thought my wife and daughter had individual thoughts. I was only behind my happiness without realizing that people around me had their own way to achieve happiness. Today when I broke down in front of you, telling my whole life story, I released how unjust I have been to my folks. I have decided to go back to India and settle with my folks. I need to compensate for the injustice I have done to my wife, daughter, parents, brothers and sister, if that is compensation at all.” I started crying again; James just patted me on my shoulder and walked-off.

Next day I felt fresh with the new found truth, there was a review of our project report and I participated whole heartedly in that. At the end of the meeting James asked me to join him in his room. In the room he told me that, the company who had funded the project had a R&D center in Bangalore, India and if I wish so he would put in a word to hire me. He told, “I think this will help you to be with Love for research and Love for family together”. I told my thanks to him. That evening, the offer for a job was there in my hand.

That evening I called Ranjana and told about my plans, she was a bit confused with my talking; I could feel. I was getting uncomfortable, and I was about to break down again. I didn’t want to concern her in any way, I can wait to go back and explain to her. I quickly finished the call.

My life always has been extremes; my eagerness to make money was overtaken by my eagerness to get knowledge, fame, social status, and be something in life. Now when I achieved certain status both with money and fame, and have an opportunity to achieve more, I feel, I just want to live with my family. That is all.

-- VidyaShankar Harapanahalli
-- Madhukar Hebbar

Note to reader: If you want to know more about Ranjana, read "Me and my Friends" a short story.

Our marriage

Today morning I got engaged to Arthi. She works in a software company and is good looking. Like me, she comes from middle class background, hopefully our thinking will match. I had talked to her, once before, when we had visited their family first time. We had talked for around 30 minutes, on the terrace of their house. I am not sure how much we understood each other in that meeting; I felt she was good match to me and provided my acceptance to parents. Luckily she also accepted, and today, we are engaged. Marriage will be after 3 months and our parents have agreed for me and Arthi to meet sometimes.

“Hi Arthi”, I told when I saw her in Forum next week. She “Hi”ed me back. The conversation couldn’t continue as both were a bit uncomfortable. Taking the initiative, I told “let’s check out the movies playing, and then figure out what to do”. Tickets were available for “Gajini”, “Australia”, and “Outlander”. In the tea-time discussions some of my colleagues had told about “Outlander” being a good action movie. I thought she might not like an action movie and asked her, “Which one?”. She told, or probably asked me, “I like action movies, I have seen Gajini, how about Outlander?” I broke into a big smile, and agreed instantly. When we went to the ticket counter, ticket guy told me “Only front row tickets are available”. It didn’t matter for me, I told my OK to the guy, paid, and got the ticket. As we were walking to cafeteria, Arthi told, “Hey, it’s the first row, will it be uncomfortable? I sometimes get a head ache”. “Oops”, I told, “I have watched many times on front row, it doesn’t matter; anyways if you feel uncomfortable we will leave in the middle of the movie”. She gave me a big smile and said, “Thanks”.

We started to discuss about different movies we liked over next hour. We discussed about the different characters in the movie, how they were good and bad and all those things. The conversation was getting interesting as we entered the movie hall to watch the “Outlander”. The movie was good with mindless violence, whenever one of us got bored with the movie, we made fun of the characters and discussed in hushed tones. As we came out of the movie hall, we wanted to talk more about things. But as I realised, it was getting dark and she needs to go home, I felt sad. I guess, we both made up our mind with difficulty and left for our house. After dinner at home, I messaged her “I had great day today”. She responded by saying, “Same here, I had wonderful time with you, watch Notting Hill on HBO”. I switched channel and started watching the movie. Slowly the messages flowed between us, with laughs and discussion on the movie. It was great movie funny to start with, and a great romantic ending. I replied to her, “I never thought I will like romantic movies :-). I liked this very much, Thanks”. She replied back by saying the other great romantic movies to watch. I made a mental note to watch those, said good night and had a very good sleep that day.

Over next days, weeks, month, we constantly emailed, chatted, talked, messaged, and discussed every subject under the sun. We talked about the movies we saw, we talked about the office scenario, we talked about friends and all those small things which happen in life. It was an eye opener for me in lot of ways, getting a girls perspective on things. The way she thought regarding things like, movies, good, bad, sex, love, romance were an eye opener to me. I started discussing about my views on all these things and I could feel that we were getting closer to each other. I must say, it was surprising for me that, we rarely had arguments and even if we had disagreements we respected each others opinions. I was living a dream.

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Last 2 months, after my engagement with Ravi, has been wonderful. Oh! I was so worried about marriage and husband; all my worries have been put to rest now. What a great guy Ravi is! I cannot stop conversing with him even at work. Luckily I do not have much work, Ravi, though is a little busy, always makes time to talk to me. This weekend we are going to meet my friends. Oh! An email from Ravi, it says, “Hey, sorry I can’t make it to meeting this weekend. My college buddies have planned a trip to Madikeri. Luckily most of them have agreed this time. Sorry, you had planned this before, can you help? Can we please meet with your friends another time? Pleaseeeeeeee……” I get angry with him and reply back, “Hey Ravi, marriage is just 3 weeks away and we will get busy with the preparations. It will be difficult to meet friends after that. I have already told all my friends, can you pleaseeeee go to trip another day. Please do not miss meeting with my friends :-(”. Don’t know why, I just stopped short of telling, “Missing the meeting doesn’t look good in front of my friends”.

Man, what a situation. Arthi is getting sad and all. Such a small thing, after marriage it becomes so difficult to freak out with friends. We can meet her friends any time. Who knows probably she will be ok for me to freak out with friends :-). Ok, let me cancel the trip. “Sorry guys, I can’t make it to the trip guys. Marriage is just 3 weeks away and my parents are not allowing me to go outside Bangalore. Sorry again guys, let us plan after marriage is over.” All my friends replied, regarding difficulty to plan an outing after marriage. But I didn’t try to convince them. And then the hard part, replying to Arthi, I thought for a while and replied without going into details “Hey, its fine. I will make it to the week end meeting with friends. I won’t go to Madikeri”. She replied with a “thanks” and a 24 fonter smiley. Don’t know why I was not comfortable at office that day, went home and slept early.

Meeting with my friends went well; my friends were impressed I think. Good. Ravi was little uncomfortable between my friends, he is shy sort of a guy. Nice. Marriage preparations are killing me.

At last, the meeting got over with Arthi’s friends. Man, it was a sort of torture. I was uncomfortable sitting with 4 girls and to top it, only thing running in my head was, “What will Arthi think if I say this or that? Will she feel bad?” More or less I kept to myself talking very formally without getting into controversy. She didn’t say anything about the meeting; I hope it is fine with her.

Just one month after the marriage, there is lot of difference we are finding in life. Perspectives change very much when we are in the same home, living together, and parents and relatives make it more complex. The day after the marriage, when I made a funny comment on Arthi’s aunt. She took it very personal, and got sad that I think in a certain way. It was just an off-the-cuff remark, and I didn’t mean anything really. I need to be careful next time when I make such a comment. Honey moon was another story of discovery; I just wanted to stay in one place and enjoy with her, whereas Arthi wanted to visit different places in Mauritius. It was very good at the end, we enjoyed the place just like our before marriage days, carefree and without thinking what other would think.

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Last 2 years has been a mixture of lot of emotions. As any married couple we have had lot of fights over small things, big things, not so important things. But overall it has been good. I get up early at 6 now and prepare for the breakfast. I still like my early morning sleep, and try to enjoy that on weekends. Ravi also gets up at 6 and helps me prepare for breakfast. I have stopped going to dance classes, as Ravi’s parents are not comfortable with it. We typically go for a movie, meet friends or shopping over week ends. We do not laugh as much as we did before. No complaints, most of my friends envy me for my life and for my relationship with Ravi. They think I am leading a beautiful life, but I miss the excitement of our initial days. I walk out of the kitchen and ask Ravi,

“Ravi, we used to laugh a lot and enjoy life more during early days of our relationship. Probably for 6-8 months it was like that I think. Why do you think we are not having so much excitement now?”

"Hmmm, tough question. Not sure, probably we understand each other better now and thrill of knowing the other person is lost now."

"Is that so? Yeah, true I guess. Let’s have a kid; I think that will induce some energy to the relationship."

Ravi stutters a bit and answers "oops, but we discussed this last month right? We decided to wait for a year more, my trip to America is pending, it will be difficult to manage in America, right? Did you ask your manager regarding America? What is this sudden idea?"

"Hey, why are you getting so uncomfortable? It was just an idea and I am trying to get your views on that. I checked with my manager today, and he says it is very difficult to arrange for a project in America. He made it sound, not possible types. We had agreed that it’s not good for me to quit job, as it would not be safe for our future. Why don’t you plan for going to America alone and we will plan for kid, I can stay with my parents. What do you think?"

"What’s wrong with my parents? Hey, they will feel bad if you stay along with your parents. Too much complicated, they cannot answer questions from their friends and family. It was a big deal to them, for us to live separately in the first place. They felt so bad about it. According to norms you can stay with your parents for last 2 months.", says Ravi getting angry.

"Hey, it is not that I got you separated from your parents. It was a joint decision, we discussed and decided. Right? Even now when your mother comes visiting, don’t I put up with her without a complaint?"

Discussion continues with both in angry mood.

"Common! my mother is not that bad. It is just that she some times advices you as she is the elder and she thinks it is her responsibility. You just have to take her advice sometimes. Lets just forget this, we discussed this hundreds of times. (Taking a deep breath, talking in a normal tone) Arthi, you know how difficult it is to get an opportunity like going to America nowadays. I don’t want to miss this; It is going to do a lot to my career. It will help me get a promotion."

"All you are always interested in is you and your parents. You do not care for me at all. I do not want to stop you from going to America, you can go is what I am saying. Right? When I proposed to quit and come along, you were the person who told it is not good for family. Though I wanted to come along with you, quitting the job. I accepted your view. I also want to see America. But, when you know that I and your Mom don’t get along well, it is not good to force me to live with your parents."

Tears start trickling from Arthi's face as she says her last sentence.

"Hey, common, you can’t blame me like this. I used to meet my friends fortnightly and had some fun. Didn’t I stop it for you? My friends make fun of me for not meeting them often. They call me hen pecked, but still I do not want to break the ground rules set by us. Do you think I am doing all this for me? If this is a small thing, should I list all the things I left for us? What’s wrong with my mother? Can’t we at least try to make them happy a little?"

Arthi crying loudly says, "Hey Sorry, I didn’t mean that. But why are you forcing me now to stay with your parents? I also sacrificed a lot, right? I stopped going to dance classes which I liked; I stopped because of you and your parents. There is nothing wrong with them, but you know that I do not go along well with your mother. Why are you doing this to me?"

Ravi gets mild and says, "Why are you doing this to me, you do not cry like this. We normally discuss things, even if we fight, you do not cry. Please stop it. Let’s discuss this tomorrow or some other time, please give me some time to think. You also think about this."

Arthi walks into kitchen. Though she wants to stop crying, she can’t, she doesn’t know why she can’t stop, and continues crying. Ravi, gets irritated, walks into bed room and sleeps. Arthi slowly moves over to sofa and sleeps on the sofa in living room. Next day was a Saturday; Ravi gets up early because of daily habit, sees Arthi is not next to him, and rushes to living room. He gets relieved seeing Arthi, wakes her up and supports her in moving to bed room. Ravi goes into the kitchen to cook breakfast, slowly starts thinking of what happened yesterday.

When Arthi wakes up and comes into living room and sees the breakfast done. Ravi, slowly talks to her, “I think, I will cancel my America trip; it seems meaningless for me without you joining me. Can you try in your office more? or else we can take a holiday in America some other time. Let’s discuss about the kid some other time please.”

Arthi says, “Ok, it is not good that we fight over things. Let’s see what happens with the America thing and then decide. Not sure what happened to me yesterday, Sorry.”

Ravi says, “I am also very sorry”

---*---*--*---*---*---*--*---

4 years later Arthi and Ravi thinking at coffee table in their office:

"We have never fought with each other after that ugly day. In fact I make sure I suppress all the taboo subjects, not allowing it to affect our life. Our conversation has come down to very minimal, we only talk about our daughter and plans for her future. We talk rarely about ourselves, our interests, etc. Life is on auto-pilot with both of us cooking breakfast, work, playing with daughter, sleep. Fun is back in life with seeing our daughter play and learn to live life, but it is only with daughter. I guess we can never reach height of our relationship of first 6-10 months. Oops, stop thinking about this. Life is good..... Is it really? Stop thinking.... Do we really understand each other? Why did we fight if we understood? Why do we fear conflict? Why are we afraid of our views? What are we running from? Don't think.. Don't think.. Don't think.. Don't think.. Don't think.."

-- Madhukar Hebbar

The story is inspired by the Shetty's concept of "Old Secret for a new marriage". I suggest the reader to read the concept also.

Auto drivers monologue

It was on a Monday morning. I woke-up fresh from the weekend rest, dressed up, had my breakfast and left for work. As I reached the main road from my house, there was an auto rickshaw, waiting for a customer. The driver was ok to come to Banashankari and I sat in the rear seat. He started the rickshaw, shifted gears and started moving towards the destination.

He started off. Saar, I had not come to Girinagar from last 8-9 years. So much has changed here, lot of shops have come all along the road. There was nothing alongside the road before. Only 2-3 shops were there, that too only near the bus stop. Now see sir, so many shops are there. I used to come here regularly during those days as my friend was staying here. Actually, I was not driving auto during those days. I was working in Mico factory, this friend was my colleague and I used to come here to meet him. I left Mico because there was too much politics there; the supervisor was creating lot of troubles for me. I bought an auto-rickshaw by taking a loan. I have still not repaid the loan, sir. There are too many auto-rickshaws on the road and we are not able to make much money nowadays. It was not like this before, sir. It is not that I am not making any money at all. I earn and look after my parents. I got my sister married by earning from auto, sir. Actually the loan of auto shifted to loan of sister’s marriage, which I am still re-paying. My sister was in hospital last week, she had a second kid and I had to be there to pay the bills of the Hospital. It was a girl child sir. My sister’s mother-in-law is a bitch sir, they want me to pay the hospital fees, that too after 4 years of marriage, sir. Why do they make a baby if they can’t pay the hospital bill?

Me: Do these kind of people still exist?

Driver: Sir, we are nice people sir, but we do not want our sister to suffer. For my mother-in-law, our money is not money and there money is only money, sir. My brother-in-law is a manager in the garment factory and he earns well. Actually, my aunt who is a big bitch, told he is the owner of Garment factory. That is why we got my sister married to him. We had given a dowry of Rs.50,000 and later we came to know, those bastards used the same money for the expenses of the marriage. We never complained about it sir, I am a respectable person, and I do not have any bad habits sir. I will never marry till I have cleared of all my loans sir. It is the responsibility of the husband to take care of the wife and kids.

Me: hmmm..

Driver (Continuing): I do not want to be like these bastards who come to me begging for money. Sir, do you know the funny thing? The sister of my brother-in-law is married to a rickshaw driver sir. He is full drunkard and all sir, he is a cranky guy sir, he takes money from these guys also, sir. I have seen it through my own eyes. He is perfect fit for this family of bastards. If they want to go somewhere in the city they give me a call. They do not pay any money to me, they take me for granted. I also do not ask money, not wanting to make a big fuss. But the son-in-law of the bitch always demands money; that is why they do not call him sir, it’s funny to watch the way he handles these bastards. I meet this son-in-law once in a while sir, full drunkard he is, he asked me to join him also to drink. But, I won’t drink sir, my parents have not bought me up like that. They have taught me all good habits. I will not take dowry sir, what is that sir, people taking dowry is like selling themselves sir. I am man, I am supposed to earn and take care of my wife and kid sir. That is what my parents have taught me. We are very respectable and cultured people sir.

Me: Hmmm...

Driver (continuing): What is there in money sir? We just have to work hard and we can earn it sir, have you seen those college kids earning money? They stand in the bus-stands, market areas and give posters to people walking around sir. We can earn money in Bangalore if we put effort. There is no problem, sir. Nowadays earning money from auto has become little difficult, sir. But I work from morning 8 till night 10, to make the money sir. There is no problem sir, there are other auto-drivers who are mother-fuckers sir, and they just sit in the corner of a street and do not go anywhere when customers come. They are the guys who bring bad name to all auto-drivers. Actually, those lazy bastards are the reason we are making money sir. I shouldn’t scold them, if they also start working my business will go down sir. Full corruption every where sir, in Bangalore alone we have 1 Lakh auto-rickshaws sir. Only about 50% will be on the road any time; god bless the lazy bastards, sir. I want to make money, clear loans, marry a beautiful girl and live happily sir. My mother’s cousins daughter is there sir. She is in a village, they wanted to give their daughter to me in marriage. But, I am only waiting to make money before marrying, sir. I don’t want to become like that bastard brother-in-law. You might think, why am I swearing at my brother-in-law so much, sir?

Me: umphh, nope.

Driver (continues without listening to me): What can I do sir? I would have finished my loans and be married by now if this fucking-bastard had taken care of his family properly. It hurts to see my sisters face sometimes sir. He is not very bad also, sir. He doesn’t beat my sister and all sir, thank god. I would have killed the mother-fucker if he had beaten my sister. It is not like that. My sister is very tough girl and might even hit them back if they try so. Husband doesn't give any money for her expenses. At the end of the month he gives all his salary to his mother, sir. She blasts these people off, when they ask her to ask money from me. Very bold and tough girl sir, she was telling me that she will go to work after her second child is 6 months old sir. She used to work before marriage in a garments factory sir, but after the marriage, her mother-in-law didn’t allow her to work, sir. Bloody bitch she is. Not all are like this sir, I have seen my cousins mother-in-law sir, such a nice person she is. She takes care of the kids and cooks for the family when her daughter-in-law goes to work. She doesn’t allow daughter-in-law to do much work also when she come back home. Nice person, sir. In Bangalore, both husband and wife has to work to make a good living sir. Forget poor people like us sir, all the rich people also, both husband and wife go to work sir. So many people I only drop them in my auto sir, I get them as permanent customers in the morning. Bangalore has grown sir, and you know…

Me: Hey, take a right here man.

Driver: ok sir, where should I stop in this road sir?

Me: Stop just after the circle.

Driver: ok sir, It’s a software company, no sir? Everybody has become rich after software companies came to Bangalore sir. When I go to Kormangala, MG Road, how beautiful it has become sir. Buildings are so beautiful and shiny sir. You should see the way girls drink nowadays sir. My brother-in-law is a non-drinker compared to them, sir. These girls are so bold sir? They are completely stoned and can't even stand when they are searching for auto at 11 PM sir. They do not have any fear at all. The way they are dressed makes me puke sir. We do not even dress 2 year old kids in that way, sir. Girls and boys are always falling over one another sir, no balance at all. Don’t know what their parents have taught them sir. Bangalore has changed sir.

Me: hey, stop here, stop here. Just in front of the shop.

Driver: Ok. Sir.

Me: It's 30, take this, thanks.

Driver: Thanks, sir.

-- Madhukar Hebbar

Blank

I woke up. I opened my eyes to see morning light through the window. It must be 7’o clock. It was Saturday, and my sub-conscious mind decided that the effort of waking up at 7 is not worth it. The chill winter wind was blowing from the open window. I rolled over to the other side, facing the wall and pulled the sheets on top of my head. Slowly the warmth of the sheet passed through the body, making me comfortably slip to another sleep.

Mom was cooking something in the kitchen; I could here the tinkling of the vessels and sizzling of the oil on pan. I could also hear father rattling about something not in its place. It must be around 8:30 now, breakfast is getting ready. Who cares, let me try to sleep again.

Mom is cleaning something in my room. I change sides again, pulling the sheets over my head. Mom asks me to wake up as the time is already 10:30. Wow! A cool three and half hours I could kill with the sleeping. I say ok, and try to sleep again. Mom is rattling about something she cooked and how my father didn’t like it. I try to sleep again, it’s getting from warm to hot in the sheet. I slowly roll over, get up and sit on the corner of the bed. I sat like that with no thoughts. I try to get up from the bed, but gravity doesn't allow me, I fall back on my ass. Getting up requires energy. Realisation of the day. Finally my mom shouts at me for being lazy, I take 3 deep breaths and get up on my legs. I slowly walk to bath room and the second question of the day arises in my head. Should I take a bath? Should I just brush, clean-up and have breakfast? Life is difficult and full of questions.

I sit down on the commode with the grave task of deciding to take a bath or not. I slowly start to think of the positives and negatives of the two options I have. Oops, I had dozed sitting on the commode. I clean up and decide to postpone the decision while brushing teeth. My grip on the tooth-brush loosens and I miss to hit the teeth and brush my cheeks. The foam on the brush falls on my body; I get irritated with my clumsiness. Suddenly, I start to feel un-clean and decide to take a bath. Wow! Second decision of the day automatically taken without much thought. PV Narasimha Rao was a genius who it seems told, “All decisions will be taken by time, no need to worry” or something like that. I appreciate the thought of our former prime minister.

News paper is full of crap, generally I read only the headlines and I couldn’t even move over to the fourth page of the newspaper. World is crap. I take Bangalore Times, and read all the cartoons. I skip over pages to see some Bollywood and Hollywood actresses skimpily dressed. This section of the newspaper is very entertaining. Some upcoming actress is quite philosophical about her not taking any movies, because of the low quality of movies. Its already afternoon and with great effort I move towards the couch and slowly roll over the couch.

TV, wonderful instrument for time-pass. I slowly switch channels to identify something worth watching. I stop at HBO, something looks interesting. A meteor has fallen down and some scientists are trying to do some research on it. Looks like a good movie. I skip channels, when Ads start on HBO, Nothing great anywhere and I jump back to HBO to see the movie. It is interesting actually, the meteor has some life forms and they are slowly starting to grow in the crater and some rookie scientist identifies that when he enters the crater. Ads, again. I move over to some channels and there is a good song on a Tamil channel, good song. AR Rehman, wonderful musician. Oh! “Friends” on star world; I get interested for a while seeing some acrobatics of the great friends. It is funny actually. I even watch the ads in between in fear of missing some humour. After Friends, I move back to HBO, the rookie scientist is actually a master brain, who is frustrated with the system and hence has moved to this obscure town as a chemistry teacher. In the meanwhile the organisms from the meteor are fast evolving at a threatening pace. All the government, military, research organisations get involved, but are not able to stop the growth of these organisms. America is in terror. One of the students of our rookie scientist has always failed chemistry, but he accidentally figures out that, toilet cleaning liquid can kill this organism. In the mean time, the Government, Military and top research Institutes have made a lot of blunders and the organism has become a monster as big as a mountain. Quiet scary actually. I felt sad for the state of affairs in America. Finally, the hero with his battalion of stupid students fills up a fire fighting tanker with toilet cleaning liquid and fire the liquid onto what looks like shit-hole of the terrifying monster. The monster huffs-puffs and then dies, and all Americans live happily ever after.

Quiet a fantastic movie actually. I was impressed with the creativity of the director and crew of the movie. It is 3 o’clock, and my mother shouts at me to have lunch. Ok, I have lunch and come back my couch. Slowly browse over different channels and doze of to my dream world. I wake up fresh at 6 PM, have my beautiful coffee and browse channels again. Some song and dance and I start seeing some 3 movies together. It’s actually fun and interesting when I do this. Switch channels and watch all movies together. Only parameter is all 3 movies have to be brainless and effect of watching the movies together is great entertainment. As I was watching these movies I moved from fresh to tired state of mind. It was around 9 PM and my mom asks me to have my dinner. Sometimes I think, only objective of mothers is to feed there children. Here I am, on the bed and couch, the whole day and my mother is asking me if I will have my dinner. Hmphh. I say a big no and return back to watching TV. She murmurs something to herself and walks off.

My friend calls up, with all energy asking me to come out and freak out with him. What the heck, here I am dozing away my day and this crazy guy is asking me freak out at 9 PM. I talk slowly, asking him, where to go, and should I really come? Should I really really come? Should I really really really come? He doesn’t get the clue at all. Some guys are so stupid. Nope, this guy gets the clue now, gets irritated with my laziness and cuts the call. Thank god.

I shut the TV down, slowly move over to bed and try to sleep for the day. It was a nice peaceful day.

My body, mind and soul feel rested.

-- Madhukar Hebbar

Hope of a party

“Next Saturday is my party”, exclaimed Krishna in the true Katte spirit. All the faces of the members lit up with the sound of “Party”. The occasion was Krishna’s birthday and like every year Krishna announced the party. Incidentally Krishna is the only member of the Katte who treats his mates on birth days. He had been following this process from a long time without fail. There have been multiple speculations by some of the Katte members about the attachment of Krishna with his party on birthdays. Some of the primitive speculations are, “Krishna is happy to be alive”, “Krishna wants to remind members of his being alive”. One of the widely and wildly accepted philosophical reasons is “Krishna likes treating his friends and Birthday is just an occasion he has chosen for consistency”.

Nevertheless when it comes to parties, Katte members never worried about the reason. They followed the philosophy of “Do not find the root of a party, just enjoy it when it comes”. In the history of the Katte there have been many reasons for parties. The prominent ones being, “Other members know that somebody has cash in his pocket”, “One member saw, a beautiful girl smiling at another Katte member in the class”, “Somebody just felt that he needs to treat his mates in middle of a Katte meeting”, “One Katte member quit smoking for a week”, “Missing Katte member visited Katte after 2 months”, “Somebody went abroad”, “Somebody saw a new restaurant and decided to acquaint his friends with the same” etc. etc. It never mattered to Katte boys of what the world thought about the reasons, and always indulged themselves to find out the source of next party.

Katte members looked forward and enjoyed the party, just like tribals of the long forgotten era enjoyed their rituals. One can easily say that the sincerity with which tribals approached their rituals is followed by the Katte members in the modern era.

Just before day of the party Krishna, emailed his mates with the terrible news of postponing the party. He was supposed to be stuck with a deployment or some such sort of crap at office and couldn’t make it. He proposed to postpone the party to week after. Krishna was a statesman of the Katte and there was nothing for the Katte members to doubt his character. But, Krishna also sent an email with the news of him not able to attend Katte meeting on Friday. Some of the Katte members became anxious as Krishna never had a history of postponing a party and very rare history of missing Friday meeting.

To give a brief history of Friday evening’s meetings of Katte members, Katte used to convene all days during the student and un-employed times of Katte members. All the well meaning members visited Katte everyday, without fearing the sun, moon, rain, cyclone, storm etc. Over a period of time as the Katte members got into professional life the meetings shifted to week ends. As some of the members got married the Katte used to convene on Friday evenings only. This Friday evening meetings of Katte used to be in restaurants and never got the tag of “Parties”. This is because the Katte constitution clearly states that “Any Katte meeting/outing clearly sponsored by one individual only is deemed as Party”.

Followed by Krishna’s email, there were other emails mentioning various reasons for different people not able to make it to the Friday meeting. It was not very inspiring to see the missing of party and to top it, cancellation of the ritualistic Friday meeting. In the gloomy environment of financial depression in the world, the missing of party and meeting was not taken well by the remaining members. The members who were expecting a party or worst case a meeting felt sad about the state of affairs.

With all the terrible things happening around the world and Katte on a Friday evening, Rama sends a sweet email to the members saying “I am going to treat you all next week after Krishna’s treat. Reason will be revealed on the day of the party”. In reply to this email, the least eligible bachelor (one who is engaged) of the group, Kumar, sends an email requesting him to give an opportunity to treat the Katte members in next 2 weeks, as he will not be available after this period due to marriage preparations. Not many members were present in the office, when these emails came, and Katte members do not have a habit of checking emails from home.

The next week, when the Katte members saw the emails, they were thrilled. The week which ended with a gloomy environment of missed party, gave way to flood of hope for future weeks.

The members quickly got involved with solving the grave problem of priority of the parties and the locations for the different parties. Katte members with all the renewed energy typed away emails with various suggestions on the location and the order of the party. The party givers typed away emails, fighting against the various costly options selected for the party location.

Katte was out of the depressing environment, and one could feel the renewed energy of the Katte members even through the computer.

--Madhukar Hebbar

Me and my friends

“Life is not fair!”

It has never been to me. Right from the days of my school, college and then marriage, nobody really cared for my thoughts. Worst nobody recognised I can even think. Nobody asked me for my opinion any thing; even decisions of my life were made by somebody.

This is what I used think before.

I was born to a middle class Brahmin family in Bangalore. Most of early part of my life was defined by my mother and father. My mother was all over me in my early years to learn cooking, cleaning and doing other house work which would make me a “good” wife in the future. My father, called himself progressive and wanted me to study well. Studies were one thing, which was my own, though the decision of what I studied was made by my father. During those days, I had adapted to the family process, didn’t worry about all these things and joined Engineering as decided by my father. Not many girls studied engineering during those days (1966, Bangalore). I was proud of myself to have achieved that. I was like a star in front of my friends, who were few.

Just after Engineering was over, I was married off to a professor who was teaching in an engineering college in Ooty. Needless to say, my parents didn’t ask me for my choice, instead was advised on bright future I had because of the qualities of the groom. Rajan Acharya was good looking, earned well, and moreover was in a respectable profession. This was enough for my father to show-off in front of his relatives and friends. I have felt number of times in my life that the perception of friends and relatives mattered most to my parents. Anyways, it doesn’t matter now on what they thought and what they are supposed to think.

As any girl of that age, I had my own dreams of life after marriage. In the hindsight the biggest dream for me was to be treated as an individual than a thing. Yeah, that is how I thought my parents treated me. It is not that, they ill-treated me or anything bad, but my SELF was not satisfied with my life decisions made by my parents. I wanted to make my own decisions and make my own mistakes.

Leaving that aside, after the marriage I moved in with Rajan in the staff quarters of the college. My relatives and my friends envied me for marrying Rajan. There were lot of reasons from their perspective, I didn’t have to live with my In-Laws, I would live in hill station, Rajan earned well, Rajan was good looking etc. etc. I also felt proud for marrying a husband like Rajan, and even displayed that in front of them. It’s funny, how I am cribbing about not having my independence.

During the initial days of marriage, it was difficult for me to adjust to new scenario. My parents had taken care of all the difficulties for me in my life, and Rajan was not one of those guys who asked about my difficulties. I think this is when I started building up my independence and doing my own mistakes. There were lot of times, I couldn’t eat the stuff I cooked, but Rajan would eat without any comment or without even showing an irritation. He was a nice man.

To define Rajan, I can simply say, he was not one of those charming heroes written in the stories and shown in movies. It looked like, his only aim in life was to make a lot of money. I never understood his urge to make more money. Though he took me to shopping, I could feel his ever conscious nature of buying things cheap. This was still a promotion for me, as my father used to do all the purchasing for me. I never complained.

One evening, after 5-6 months after our marriage, Rajan was filling up an application form. As always, I never dared to ask him what it was about. After filling up the form, he asked me to sign at the specified place in the application form. That is when I realised it was an application for lecturer post in his college. As always, I didn’t ask any questions and signed the application. That night I slept with a happy feeling about working, and was thrilled to know that my husband was concerned about me.

I got the job very easily, as my husband was an influential person in the College. I had to attend 6 month training and started my work with enthusiasm. I think those were the best days of my life. I was involved in work completely both at college and home and the process of learning to teach gave me lot of satisfaction. My busy mind didn’t let me think some of the negative things, which I had slowly started off after the marriage. I even didn’t bother that my salary was being credited to a joint account with my husband and Rajan controlled it with tight hands.

My happy days continued with new colleagues at office, there was only one female lecturer other than me and we quickly became buddies. Deepika was a nice person with lot of heart and we quickly became friends sharing our thoughts and views on life. After my school days, this was the first time I had found a person whom I could share my thoughts.

It was during these happy days that I got pregnant. I was ecstatic, for the first time in my adult life. I thought for hours and hours on the way to tell Rajan and finally broke the news to Rajan the next day evening, he told, “Ranjana! We didn’t need this now” and went to sleep. For him, our child was a “this” and I quickly saw the saddest day of my life. I had no energy to do anything and didn’t go to college the next day. I was worrying the whole day on what would happen to our child, and what would Rajan do next. I was sleeping when Rajan came back home and broke the news that, his family was visiting us the next day morning. He even helped me in cleaning the guest room. Another first, I had seen 3 firsts just in 3 days. I realised that my worries about Rajan’s thoughts was all my imagination. I was in peace.

After Ranjini was born, my whole life was filled with her. It was like a dream world for me, feeding, cleaning and playing with Ranjini. It opened up a whole new life for me, which I had not thought existed for me. Rajan, as usual kept to himself, he didn’t show any signs of special joy of becoming a father. I guess that is how Men are made. Whenever Mother-in-Law was critical of his not helping me, he always dismissed her with silence. I had almost forgotten about college until Rajan reminded of my leaves coming to an end. Mother-in-Law, spoke first, announcing that she will stay with us till the Ranjini is big enough to manage herself. Rajan was emotionless, as always.

God knows how the years speeded past in my life. I had somewhere heard that this is what children do to parents life. Ranjini quickly grew to be a talkative kid, and my after college hours became cheerful seeing, talking and playing with her. I had found my best friend in Ranjini. Life at college was normal without much special things, and my friendship with Deepika provided me the much needed comfort. Most of my days were typically filled with Classes, Deepika and Ranjini.

One evening, around 6 years back, when Ranjini was still in her 3rd standard class, Rajan announced that he is going to America. He had got an opportunity to teach and do research in American university for a year as part of an university education program. I was dumb-struck and couldn’t talk for 10 minutes. Only thing running in my head was, “How am I going to manage without Rajan?”. For the first time in our marriage, Rajan, explained the need for him to go to America. He wanted to get the experience and make money and if possible stay on in America. America, the land of opportunities, he exclaimed! I was not sure, if I had to be happy or sad. For the first time in my life, he was showing emotions which were dear to him and the event would make me take all the troubles of raising Ranjini alone. I had never before, told or did anything against his will, and today, when he was so happy for his opportunity, I couldn’t stop him. I even didn’t know how to show my worries to him. Over next one month, Rajan did everything with interest. He taught me all the nitty-gritty’s of the house finances starting from our bank account, Ranjini’s school fees, paying other bills, purchasing stuff, etc. etc. He had never before talked to me so much about anything, and I felt very happy about his talking to me. I took up my new responsibilities very seriously and even enjoyed it. One fine day, Rajan left to America.

The life without Rajan was not that scary as I had thought before. Ranjini was my best friend and life went on as before. Rajan used to call us once in a month, and never talked more than 5 minutes. He talked about the research he was doing and about how he never had time to write a letter. Generally, after these calls for 2-3 days I never used to feel good about life, I used to feel the loss of Rajan from my life. The feeling of loss became more pronounced as Rajan extended his trip to another 5 years. He never missed calling us every month, and never more than 5 Minutes. I used to feel bad for Ranjini who would be cut in between in her talk if she felt like talking more. She lost interest in monthly calls from Rajan.

Deepika always mentioned to me that, I am loosing interest in life and asked me to cheer up. She sometimes indicated about possibility of Rajan having an affair in America and asked me to be careful and inquire about that. I was sure this is not the case, knowing the person and his interest on whatever he was doing in America. Right from the first call of Rajan from America, he would talk about the wonderful work he was doing and money he was making. No! this man, didn’t care about any women. My father with all pro-activeness even went a step ahead and inquired through some of his friends son who was in the same university. He brought me good news of how he was a workaholic and a good man. It makes me laugh, as I think, how Rajan can be a good man?

Nevertheless, my stints of feeling alone continued.

As Ranjini grew older and became more independent, I started feeling more and more alone. I realised that the idle time which I had, made me think of all the negative things and made my loneliness more difficult to manage. Hence, I started involving myself in more activities. I started going to Gym with my daughter. I started taking more subjects. I started reading more. I started cooking different delicacies which I had not tried before. As I involved myself in more and more of these activities, it slowly reduced the feeling of loneliness. But I could feel the loneliness still existed in my system.

One day as I was taking a class of Operation Research to 8th semester students, I realised that one of the student was staring at me. I glanced at him time and again as was teaching to confirm what I saw. I was surprised to see, he was actually staring at me through out the class. As that was the last class of the day for me, I went home and started thinking what this student was up to. I was nervous, shocked and filled with un-understandable, un-definable feelings. Next time I took the same class, I noticed during the attendance call that his name was Joy. I started digging around his history and realised that he was not a bright student, and had a problematic history in the college. During the next 2 weeks I glanced at him once in a while to see if he was staring at me. Yes, he was. Sometimes he noticed my glances and got embarrassed and took his eyes away from me.

One of these days Joy came to the staff room asking for me. He was a little anxious and wanted to ask some doubts in the subject. The doubts he asked was very basic and was covered during the initial days of the semester, 1-2 months back. I realised my role of a lecturer and explained the solution to the problems. Over next few days he came with various doubts and I used to clear the doubts for him. I started noticing that he stared less and started concentrating on the lessons in the class.

One day as I was coming back from the Gym I noticed that Joy was smoking next to a tree near our house. I didn’t show that I noticed him and went into my house. I started worrying about Joy. He always looked aloof as if he had lost something in life.

Rajan called up and told that he is coming home in 2-3 months for 3 months holiday. He had completed his research successfully and was appreciated by every body. He was ecstatic about his successful completion and he went on and on about how he had got different offers to do the research on other subjects. He told that he was still thinking about the offers and need to decide what he wants to do with his future. He talked for 10 minutes. A record. Ranjini didn’t talk to Rajan that day, as she was busy studying for her exam next day. I felt a tinge of dissatisfaction in Rajan’s voice as we told byes.

That night, I thought I need to understand Joy and help him if possible.

Next time when he came to staff room, I inquired about his parents and general things. I asked about the movies he saw, his interests etc. He was always energetic about answering the questions and providing his views on various subjects. His views on his father being autocratic was startling, and I could feel the similarity of our lives. When I inquired about why he was not seen around with much friends in the college. His answer was, he had made multiple attempts to make friends and he could never converse with them for more than 2 sentences. He talked about how he used to find his peace in smoking on top of the mountain. It was nice listening to young man talk, and I could feel him getting the much needed comfort talking to me. I remembered the comfort which Deepika had given me during initial days of my marriage.

Joy was feeling lonely in a place which was not made for him. It was unfortunate, people around him didn’t understand his needs and expected his life to run according to what they thought was life. He saw a friend in me. Next few days were beautiful as I had found another friend. I realised, I was not feeling lonely as before.

2 weeks back, Rajan called, 2 weeks later than his customary monthly call. Another record! He told that he is going to come back permanently to India. He had got a job offer in a R&D division of some company in Bangalore. He asked me to take leave of 2 months and come to Bangalore so that we all can enjoy holidays along with his parents. He asked me “Do you want to work more? If you wish, you can search for a job in Bangalore?” I was shocked!!! I kept silent without knowing how to respond. He was getting uncomfortable, I could realise from his tone. He ended the call, by saying “I miss you”. I was ecstatic for the second time in my adult life.

As I sit in the bus to Bangalore and see my whole adult life running in front of me today, I feel “Life has been fair”. Whenever there was a trough in my life, Life showed me a friend, first Deepika, then Ranjini and then Joy who have made my memories joyful.

Oops! I forgot to say bye to Joy.

-- Madhukar Hebbar

Note to reader:

If you want to know more about Joy, read "Was I Sane?" a short story.

If you want to know more about Rajan Acharya, read "What is better than money?" a short story.

Was I sane?

Ms. Ranjana Acharya was a beautiful woman. She was middle aged (40-42 years old), medium height, wheatish to fair complexion with slight marks on her face. She never used to apply make-up and always used to be dressed in a simple Saree. In-spite of this description, she looked beautiful to me. Not just me, but also to some of my friends. My only guess is her dark eyes in contrast to her face made her look beautiful. She looked very healthy.

I am Joy. I was studying for my engineering degree in a very reputed/costly college in Ooty. Putting an end to all guesses, I couldn’t be termed as smart from the general society perspective. Society feels that way as I didn’t get good marks in 12th exams. Didn’t get, sounds like somebody didn’t give me what I deserved. Ha! Ha! Nope, that was not the reason, studying of those text books, for the heck of scoring marks didn’t appeal to me and hence resulted in my low marks. Like any other family, my family had hopes of me doing well in life. My father being autocratic in nature wanted to make something out of his stupid son. He gave loads of money and got me admitted into this Engineering College.

I was not sure what to do with my life, and had heard Ooty was a nice place, decided to go ahead with my fathers plans without much of a fuss. I used stay at the college campus, which was run on the principles of a prison. Some of my early friends in college told that, the college was built on IIT principles and was the next best thing under the sun. Who cares?!! I didn’t make many friends later on.

The college had strict rules of attending classes and students going out of the campus. Hence, invariably I used to spend my energetic young age in classes drawing crap on my note books. I was what you can call as sub-dued individual.

It was during the start of my 8th semester classes, One day Ms. Ranjana entered our class as she was supposed to teach Operations Research (OR). Though, I had seen her around in the college earlier, that day, in the full view on the class platform, she looked very beautiful to me. She was wearing a simple Saree and no make-up. I watched her closely through out the class. In fact, my eyes were always concentrated on her and her movements through out the hour.

Incidentally, one of the subjects I like is Mathematics. God knows why?!! Aimless playing around with numbers and formulas to achieve nothing made sense to me. Somewhere, I had read, human mind will find a liking for something even when put in a no-hope place like prison. I can relate my scenario to this statement now. Operations Research was a subject which is application of Mathematics and it was very obvious that I would like it.

After the classes were over, I aimlessly wandered around the college, as per my general habit. Went to some quiet places, burned some cigarettes, played with ants, disturbed some grass. It was a summer day and had got dark an hour back. I wandered into Mess, had my dinner and went back to my room. State of my mind was what can be termed as “Blank”. I was on my bed, reading a national geographic magazine. It was a nice article about the mating habits of Lions. Suddenly, the thought struck to me that, Ms. Ranjana was “sad”. God knows why?!! How?!! But, a sudden clarity appeared in my mind that Ms. Ranjana was sad.

Over next few days, I attended all her classes with complete concentration on her. I also enquired about her with some class mates and seniors. It looks like Ms. Ranjana topped the gossip list in our college. It seems she was divorced from husband, and living with her daughter in staff quarters. Nobody had any conclusive stories though; it was like any other gossip in college. I started relating the “sadness” of Ms. Ranjana to this story and felt an element of truth in the rumour. This thought of sadness, bought me closer to her.

After 3-4 weeks of my concentration on Ranjana, I noticed that every 5 minutes, she would glance at me. Initially I was embarrassed, and used to turn my head in other direction. This was a surprise, which I had not anticipated and was not sure how to handle this. I started noticing that, Ranjana started glancing towards me more often. I cannot explain the emotions I was going through, but I guess it was a mixture of elation and fear. I was not sure what was happening and my next step in life was unknown.

I wandered around the campus with the same emotions for 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks, my boldness increased and I also realised that I had not studied even a bit of Operations Research. I shortened my evening walks to the mountain and started studying. Unfortunately, my concentration on Ranjana didn’t allow me to concentrate on the subject in the class.

As I was having my lunch one day, I felt a huge urge to see Ranjana. I finished my lunch quickly, went to my room and jotted down some doubts I had in Operations Research. I went in search of Ranjana in the staff room. She was surprised to see me in the staff room. I stumbled a bit while entering the room and with hesitation asked her about my doubts. She was very calm and gracious and explained me the solutions to the problems. But, I couldn’t understand very clearly what she was teaching me. I guess, my anxiety had increased my heart beats and clouded my mind.

The staff of the college stayed in the quarters around 1.5 KMs away from the student hostel. Anybody can guess that the staff didn’t want to live in a Jail like environment. Near the staff quarters were some shops and this used to be the place where most smokers bought there cigarettes. It was around 7:30 PM in the evening and I decided to take a walk to buy cigarettes. I bought a pack of cigarettes and as I was walking back across the quarters, saw a big tree and stood below it. I lighted a cigarette and started taking long drags. I saw Ranjana walking down the pathway on the hill with her daughter. They were both dressed in track suits. I waited for some more time, under the tree, saw them entering the house. I could see the silhouette of Ranjana walking around in the house.

I dreamed of her the whole night.

No points for guessing, I started going to Gymnasium. I figured out in just 2-3 days that Ranjana and her daughter used to come around 7 and leave around 8. I scheduled my going to Gym everyday at the same time. I was in pretty bad shape by then, and had gained 20 Kilos compared to my days of 12th. It was difficult days initially and I didn’t dare to talk to Ranjana. Most of the people in the Gym would leave by 7:30. After 2 weeks of going to Gym, I dared to say a hello to her. She responded back with a Hello. I thought she was a bit conservative in the Gym because of her daughter. She used to chat and talk about things when I used to go to clarify doubts in Staff Room.

During this period, I felt she was getting closer and closer to me. We used to talk about weather, movies, college life, etc. in the staff room. Though it only used to be for 5 mins, I used to feel a high after the talk. I used to go for a walk around staff quarters and enjoy the silhouette of Ranjana once in a while.

One fine day, Ranjana came to college well made-up and wearing a beautiful silk saree. She was looking beautiful. I don’t know how my eyes, stopped from popping out of sockets. She looked very cheerful, and I felt was more cheerful when I went to ask doubts at staff room. The trend of her dressing up for college continued for next 2 weeks. We were nearing the exams, and I was worst prepared compared to previous 3 semesters. Anybody can guess my state of mind.

God knows why, I got up at 5 o’clock in the morning. I was full of energy and couldn’t let myself to sleep again. I went for a long walk on the mountain and was having a smoke. I was trying to think of what was happening with my life, I was in love, probably infatuated to an older woman. She was probably divorced and that didn’t matter to me. I started thinking clearly on what’s my future, and how I would continue with my life. I was sure; my parents would go mad hearing the news. It was funny imagining my father’s response to this news. I am sure he would have hit the ceiling in rage.

Next 2 weeks of life was filled with negative feelings. More or less I always used to think about good or bad and what does future hold for me. One of these days, Ranjana entered the class and announced that, she would be on a leave for 2 months and Mr. Selvatheertam would take our Operations Research to conclusion. Who cares?!! Needless to say I was disappointed, and Ms. Ranjana never glanced at me during the announcement. The rumour factory came with the news that Ms. Ranjana’s husband was indeed alive and abroad. It seems she was taking 2 months leave to go abroad.

My thought process of right, wrong and future continued vigorously after hearing this news. This is when, I realised; I even do not know Ms. Ranjana’s response. There was a good probability of me imagining that Ms. Ranjana finds solace in me. She has a daughter who is probably 14-15. For me, it didn’t make sense and the end was unclear.

In this confusion, I went for evening walk to the mountain. After lighting my second cigarette, In the sane environment of setting sun, I realised that I was not considering the whole picture. I was not sure, what will happen to my life?, where will I live?, whats my relationship with her daughter?, how will she react?, where will we work?, what will neighbours say?, what if society doesn't accept us?. There were questions and only questions, and there was no way I could think of getting my relationship to work.

I realised my childishness very clearly.

I could see the end.

I was getting sane.

I continued with my not-so-studious studies and went on with my life. I forgot about Ms. Ranjana and my love for her in a short time.

Today, on the eve of my 40th birthday, I am thinking,

“Was I really Sane?”
"Was I afraid of barriers?"

by Madhukar Hebbar

Note to reader: If you want to know more about Ranjana, read "Me and my friends" a short story.

A Beautiful Day

She was cute.
She was smart.
She was fair.
She was tall.

It was 6:30 in the morning on May 17th, she glowed under the dim light of rising sun. She looked like a goddess to me in the middle of a Malleswaram road. She waved her hands with the ease of a bird waving its wings. I stopped. She wanted to go to MG Road. Words didn't come out of my mouth, my heads and limbs moved involuntarily asking her to sit. My heart was pumping blood, my limbs were shaking a bit. I took a deep breath, to calm my nerves, shifted to first gear and drove towards MG Road.

It was a beautiful day, women were selling flowers and vegetable on the pavement. Some people were out on the street buying vegetables and flowers. Everybody looked happy. Everything looked beautiful. It was just another ordinary day in Malleswaram. The beauty with me, made the day extra ordinary for me. I was skipping beats of heart, I was sweating on a beautiful day with a light breeze.

I could smell, the jasmine scent from her, in the light breeze. I drove slower than normal, in fact I left my formula one instincts and enjoyed the drive. I have never enjoyed my drive, so much as that day. The traffic on a early morning was less, not many people crossing the road and not many irritating drivers on the road. I didn't even realize that, I couldn't see a "Formula One" call center cabs on the road. oh! it was a Cab strike, I realized, and blessed the Cab owners for their strike.

There was one thing missing, I had worked the whole night and was in a bad shape. I wish I had a bath in the morning. I wish I was well dressed. I wish the tobacco smell was not present.

As I drove down the road, I dreamed of, how good my life would be, with her as a companion. How she would, wake me up with a beautiful cup of coffee. How beautiful the day would be, if I saw her face every morning. etc. etc. I was just another normal human being, and I had small dreams. I used to work 17 hours day, to earn money and bring some security in life. My dreams were small, and each and every cell of my body knew for instinct that, she was the one who could make me happy.

I adjusted, the rear view mirror to look at her. She was sitting majestically with her legs crossed. Wow! what a face, what a beautiful soft smile she had on her lips. I could see that, she was enjoying the beautiful day with the eyes open. Wow! what beautiful eyes they were. Oops! a bloody cow crossed the road, I quickly and softly applied the breaks and tackled the situation smoothly. Guess what, I had to make an impression, right? I started to concentrate back on the road, but never forgot to get a glimpse of her once in a while. Funnily enough, I didn't get angry. I would have swore at the cow and the people who had left the cow on the road, with the choicest of words, any other day. I always patted myself on my swearing skills and my creativity in that area.

I started to remember, how she sounded when she talked. Such a beautiful voice, I had never heard before. Four syllables, of MG road was what I had heard, and it rang in my ears again and again. Funnily, I tried to imagine, how she would sound when she says, "Ri, can you please take your coffee?". Ha ha ha, only Sushmita's, voice rang in my ears. I remembered watching the movie "Mein Hun Na", afternoon on the previous day. I kicked Sushmita out of my head, and waited to hear her voice again.

I asked, "Where in MG Road, do you want to go?", my heart started beating faster as I spoke, and missed some syllables in between. You can guess my eagerness to listen to her voice again. She told, "Prestige Meridian". That's it! I was disappointed a bit, but remembered that there is always another opportunity to hear her speak. I didn't forget to get a view of her, once in a while.

She was a Goddess!

I reached Prestige Meridian on MG Road and stopped. She looked at me and said, "It should be just 40 Rs from Malleswaram, and your meter shows 50 Rs. I come here everyday, and I will give 40 Rs. only". The words as she spoke were song to my ears, and I replied "hun!". She was a bit perplexed by seeing my reaction. For the first time in the day, I saw her making a face which wouldn't be called beautiful. I didn't like the look and forced myself to forget it.

As she crossed the road, I kept watching her walk across. And once she entered the building, I smiled to myself, dropped the plans of working till afternoon (on a Cab strike day) and decided to go home and hope to dream of her in my sleep.

She had made my day.

-- Madhukar Hebbar

Double Impact

Jimmy, Gani and Rama were childhood friends. They have been friends, from the day they were kicked into school together. Their, parents all belonging to Brahmin society lived in the Guttali area of Bangalore. They all went through the same process of crying, fighting, playing, pissing and shitting in nickers in their childhood days. This built a special attachment between them as they grew.

It is not that, these were the only friends. They had bigger group of people in the gang and they called themselves Katte gang, for the fun of it. They went from primary to high school, to pre-university like normal people. Though, they studied and enjoyed the primary school together, the fate moved them apart to different schools and college. But Gani and Jimmy always studied together till they completed the pre-university.

These friends, were always in the front line of activities in there child hood days. Jimmy was not that smart in nature, and typically would be a follower of Gani in lot of activities. As they grew older and entered into college, Gani, slowly picked up the habit of smoking and alcohol. It is not that, he used to do a lot, but to the standards of a Brahmin society it was a huge sin. Parents would have stuttered and puttered if any of them would have learnt about the vices of their dear ones. Their traditional upbringing never allowed them to even guess, their sons would have these vices. Jimmy, who always wanted to be front line, started to emulate Gani in these activities.

All the friends, were pretty good in studies and entered Engineering in reputed institutions. There were growing apart as individuals, as each one of them saw life in a different way in engineering and off-course because of new friends. They always had a meeting point with other friends at Katte. But relationship was not what you call as "Close Friends". But still they were friends, they kidded, fought, made fun of one another always.

When they all completed engineering, all the friends decided to go for a party at a Dhabba. Dhabba's were the common party points of the Katte members, and they decided to go to Dhabba on mysore road. Like any other Engineering kids, who drank alcohol, they started ordering Beer, Gobi Manchuri and Chilli Chicken in the Dhabba.

This is when, Gani started with a big show of smartness. Gani, started telling people, how Beer is just a soft drink, and other Katte members had to graduate to Whiskey. Not to be left behind the other Katte members, promptly displayed there choice of drink, starting from Khodays rum to Raja whiskey. Gani, not to loose any such arguments, displayed his vigor by displaying how he dilutes whiskey with beer rather than soft drink. Most Katte members, with common sense, understood the impacts didn't take up the idea.

Jimmy had never done this before, and as any person would do, wanted to try. He didn't show his emotions to his friends, and exclaimed, I have always done this and is good fun. This was more than enough for Gani's josh, and he started mixing and serving Jimmy. All the other members, saw the fun in offering and motivated Jimmy. As most of the drinkers would know, at the end of the session, Jimmy will not be in a state to even walk. The day which started with fun, slowly started moving towards tragedy, with Jimmy loosing control of himself.

All the well meaning Katte boys, didn't understand the significance of the state of Jimmy and took him to Manchinebele dam. Some of the guys, had a good swim. Jimmy tried to swim, but ended up in a dangerous situation of drowning. He had to be physically pulled up by atleast 5 of the Katte boys. This situation made most of the Katte members realize the gravity of the situation and quickly packed up and came to Katte.

Katte, as ever was a place of refreshing calmness to the members. They had a wash of face and legs in the refreshing borewell water. Jimmy started to regain some of his senses, but was feeling tired. It was a standard at Katte, typically after a party they would have masala puri and pani puri with extra onions before going home. It was theory of the members that, bad smell of onion had the ability to kill the little remaining smell of alcohol. Unfortunately, Jimmy, ignored the standards. As he was tired, he decided to go home and have a good sleep to get back his senses.

What happened in Jimmy's house is never heard of before in any place under the sun. Jimmy's mother noticed, the bad smell which was coming out his mouth. Like any other mother of Brahmin family (any caste for that matter), got agitated and summoned Rama into their house. Rama, was a bit worried, as he was part of the party and knew whats going to come. He made up his mind, prayed to his loving God, and went to Jimmy's house.

"What is that bad smell coming out of Jimmy's mouth, have you guys started drinking and all?" asked Jimmy's mother with eyes wide open. Rama, is more or less stunned with the sudden question, and the tone of the voice. He stutters a bit and with all sincerity, answers, "No Aunty!, he might have eaten some Non-Veg at the party".

It took, 3-4 years for Jimmy to recover from the double impact.

-- Madhukar Hebbar

Ring Road Kamakshi

SG liked to play cricket. Like, probably is a under-statement, he was passionate about cricket. He liked to bowl. If general Katte cricket schedule, started from 5:30 PM and ended at 7 PM, SG would be the first on the field, with his best mate Child at 5. He would bowl continuously till the first match started around 5:45 PM. After the scheduled 2 matches were over, SG started bowling again till the sun got tired and decided to set himself. The passion of the SG was such that, he continued to bowl under the dim light available from the street. His passion can only be paralled by, Sir. M.Vishweswaraiah's passion towards learning, who because of the financial constraints, studied under street light.

For non cricket players, it is a very simple understanding that, bowling is the hard part of cricket. If somebody is ready to bowl, there would be many people queuing up to bat. In fact, there used to be fight amongst the Katte members to bat. There are also days when, batsmen used to get tired and SG used to bowl at wickets only. Yeah, I know the next question, SG had a very well built, exercise toned body. His fitness and strength is what made him follow his passion of bowling for long hours. No price for guessing, His other passion in life, was going to gymnasium and toning his body. SG was proud of his body, and one could see him checking up his biceps time and again.

Naturally, well built, health and body conscious SG was passionate about variety of carnal pleasure available in the world. SG was studying engineering, in a college in Bangalore (that is what all 12th crossed students did in Bangalore in ester years). If he was in a country like America, it was estimated that he would atleast have 2 kids by that time. But, unfortunately, he was bought up in a religious family in bangalore, and didn't have much options to follow-up his passion to check out the variety of carnal pleasures.

Gani, was highly creative and mischievous guy in the Katte gang. His creativity and mischievous nature, used to be terror amongst the decent bred people of the Katte gang. Gani had a special skill and affection towards, items, which would be called by well bred people as Gross (assayya). This love for gross items, more or less, kept the decent people away from him.

The Gods design was such, though SG and Gani can be termed as poles apart, they had a common bonding.

It was Porn.

Gani, because of his friends and connections had wide variety of porn material with him. In those days in Bangalore it was not difficult to get local Indian porn magazines, like debonair, rasika etc. But Gani was special, he had a collection of porn material from across the world. Primarily collection was from USA. Story goes that, Gani had some friends who were in America. And they were so fond of Gani that they were presenting porn material to him. Some friends, they were!.

It must be said that, most of the young adults in engineering, would have graduated from porn magazines to better stuff long time back. But SG was an exception in that case, where he enjoyed all varieties of porn stuff and took a pleasure out of it.

The trouble started when, SG borrowed some of porn magazines from Gani. Though borrowing was consistent ever vigilant mind of Gani noticed that all stuff didn't return back. The borrowing and giving back of the stuff, was done outside the realms of the Katte and the members were oblivious of this activity. Gani started asking for stuff back, but got some responses like "I have already given it back", from SG. This pissed Gani off. Point to be observed that, the stuff missing was like a spoon of water removed from the well. But, for Gani, it was more the question of ethics and principles than the stuff itself.

Gani was left in a situation, where he also didn't want to look childish in front of his esteemed Katte friends. He was supposed to be the knower of things, and not a man to reckon with petty things like cheap Porn magazine. In short, he had a reputation to save amongst the esteemed tribe. Gani, also claimed the experience of knowing lot of secret places of pleasure and also experience of having the carnal pleasure. Though, this has never been validated by anybody in Katte. But he was labelled, as knower of things.

Krishna, one of the esteemed member of Katte gang is known to be a do-gooder. He had this un-canny ability to be friends of all members of the Katte. Caste, creed, intelligence, childishness, wealth didn't matter to him. He was one of those guys who every one emotionally attached themselves with. It doesn't mean that, he cared for any one. But he allowed the people to build a sort of attachment with the niceness of Krishna. ah! the name Krishna, he was named after the legend very aptly.

Gani in the mean time, was burning with revenge in his belly. Very creative Gani, never short of ideas plotted a plan to take his revenge. But he had a problem, because of his reputation, SG wouldn't believe him. Trust is the core for execution of any plan, and Gani knew this. The first and the obvious person who came to his mind was Krishna. He shared his grief, and pain of the hurt ego with ever listener Krishna. Krishna, as ever, was always enthusiastic about activity of pulling legs and had trait of being master executioner.

He pledged his support.

Life went on, the entire Katte was oblivious of the revenge and the plot and plan.

One of those, evenings, when all the Katte members were sharing a cigarette and fighting for the last puff. Gani, started off with a story of another of his sexual experience. Typically, Gani's stories always were outside Bangalore and had very less relationship to Bangalore. Katte members always thought, this was what made his stories un-provable. Ears of all the Katte members shot up with a natural instinct to know about things. Gani started mentioning about a prostitute named Kamakshmi just in Banashankari. And her normal work area used to be the ring road near Kattriguppa. He ventured up with the whole story of how he got the contact, to the wonderful episode of his encouter with Kamakshi.

Like all of the katte episodes, all the Katte members were very eager in questioning and cross questioning Gani. Gani, a skillful story teller and conversationalist never hesitated and provided all the answers. The story, was also supported by Krishna, who had a friend who knows Kamakshi. The story, supported by 2 people, also involving do-gooder Krishna, sounded true. It was just an another day at Katte, after 1-2 peaceful smokes and talks about Gani's episodes all the Katte members went home. Only Krishna had shown the interest to convert dream to a execution and was questioning Gani on the details.

This is when, SG saw the opportunity and approached Gani and Krishna. There was an agreement that, SG, Krishna and Gani will try to have fun after 2 days. Gani was told to be near the Janata Bazar exactly at 8 PM, and Krishna and Gani will reach the same place at the same time. It was just, coincidence that all their home was in separate directions and the meeting place was a ideal point.

On the day, SG was full of vigour in his bowling. He was unplayable by the best batsmen of the Katte gang. He had a jump in his feet and was eager to do things fast. Katte members, oblivious of the plan didn't understand what has happened to SG. He didn't even practice after the match and decided to leave home early.

At home SG, dressed up like a groom, with a red shirt and nice new pants. He was with all eagerness and expectation dressed up like a model. Gave a reason of "meeting his friends" to his parents, took his scooter and reached ring road exactly t 7:45 PM. Ring road during those days, was scarcely populated area. Every women who happened to be traveling looked like Kamakshi to him. He waited till, 8:30 PM with all eagerness and anxiety. Neither Krishna nor Gani turned up. He started getting worried and called up Krishna's house from a pay phone. Krishna's sister picked up the phone and told him that, Krishna had already left at 7:45 PM.

SG got a little confidence and waited more in the ring road, obviously looking around for Kamakshi. (SG unfortunately didn't have the number of Gani's house.) He waited for more time, and called up Krishna's house again with the same result. The emotional balance of SG was shaken such that, he more or less had broken down to the level of crying. It was around 9:30 PM and SG called up Krishna's house again.

This time Krishna picket up the phone and told SG about the hoax. It seems the last words heard were, "Its ok Krishna uh its ok, it is only because uh you told I had come here, I wouldn't have trusted Gani... uh! uh!"

The story was told by Gani to the Katte in the full pomp and glamor and it was worth a 1000 rupees ticket as members watched SG's face as he entered Katte.

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are real and can have relationship with one and all. They can be found in any Katte, any gang, across this world.

-- Madhukar Hebbar